Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till its gone.

"..they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.."-Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell.
It does go like that. Really.
If there's one thing people are good at, its taking things for granted. Take a simple phone call for example. A phone call you receive everyday. We expect it. We know its coming. It always does. Without fail.
And one day it doesn't. And we find ourselves thinking, "what's going on?" . We go around trying to soothe this raw emptiness within us. We try everything we can think of.
But nothing works.
Then we realise, how we miss the sound of the voice on the other line. The deep, smooth soothing voice. We feel a longing for it with every fibre of our being. We lose all sense of reality. Time is meaningless. Life is nothing.
There is no longer focus. All there is is regret.
Regret for not appreciating what we had.
Of course, this is from my point of view. Everyone has theirs right?
Its interesting isn't it? What we love most is what we don't appreciate. But when its taken away, we find it difficult to accept. Perhaps familiarity is at fault. It clouds our minds with visions of an unchanging future. Visions that will keep us satiated with what we have and what we're doing.
So think of every normal thing in your life and discover how amazing each and every one really is. Change your perspective a little. Nothing is normal. Nothing ever will be.
You, dear, are definately amazing.

I will never forget that.

I have no cool quote for this.

I AM GROWING ANOTHER HEAD.
Seriously, this pimple is HUGGEEEE!!!!!
Urgh I hate pimples. Especially these kinds! bleekk~!
Then again who likes them, right?
Haih. I dunno what I did, but one eye is now smaller than the other. Mom's theory is that when i was playing with my make-up (yes, i play -_-) some of it accidently got into my eye or somethibng. Haih so ugly laa!!! one eye is like small and the other is like big. Though, I've mentioned that before.
Hmm.
Went for an excruciatingly long driving course today. I was soooooo sleepy.
Yeah you guessed it I'mjust talking crap now.
I'd better go.
byebye.

Daylight..I must wait for the sun rise..

I must think of a new life..and I musn't give in..When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too...And a new day will begin..." -Memory, Cats.
Lets take it a day at a time. Tomorrow is another day.

Hopefully a better one.
Its just one of those days where nothing goes right. And its probably my fault.
Its always my fault isn't it.
I'm so tired. I can feel the exhaustion tugging at my breath; frustration pulsing through my veins. I feel like there's pressure on me from all sides, pushing me down, compressing my very bones...
I try to fight , but I fail. There's just no use. I am helpless.
What is this force pushing down on me? I feel the tears sting my eyes. I don't stop them. I don't know why they're there. I don't know why they won't leave me alone.
The force keeps pushing, the pressure keeps coming. I want it to stop. Stop! But it won't .Not for now. It stays when it wants to. There's no control. I wan't to sleep and to never awaken. I want to disappear. Vanish.
I can't keep going on like this. I have to find who's doing this to me.
And then I realise.
Its me. This pressure-- its me. I am my own fiend, my own villain.
I am the dark demons I wish to slay. And I decide. I will.
Tomorrow is another day. A day where the dark clouds will vanish and the sun will shine. A day I am able to breathe again. A day I am able to smile. A day I will not be accompanies by tears.
Tomorrow I am free.

If We Were a Movie...

You'd be the right guy, and I'd be the best friend, that you''d fall in love with in the end, we'd be laughing, watching the sunset.." -Miley Cyrus.
Haha. This song has been stuck in my head. But its pretty good :) THANKS SARAH.
Yes. The one and only brilliant Sarah Tan introduced me to it. :P
ANYWAY,
I took a good look at my chemistry homework today (after working long (ok not that long la) and hard on my electron configurations from 1-30) and realised that it looked like gibberish. I know its extremely childish, but I felt this sudden pride that i knew what this gibberish was all about. Kinda like being in on a secret, ya know? err ok i think i've started crapping now. :P
Derek waited for me at the entrance to Taylor's again. :) It really makes me happy when he does that.
Its like coming home.
I can forget about everything when I'm with him.
Except when I have to get to class of course. hehe.

Knife..Cuts like a knife..

..how will I ever heal? I'm so deeply wounded."

-Knife, Rockwell.

I don't know how I keep doing things wrong. No matter how much I try, I never get things right.

I suppose I'm not like other girls. I don't dress like them, I don't talk like them--I feel so...alienated. I feel like I have problems getting along, fitting in. I'm awkward, weird; I just don't belong. And it hurts. It hurts so much.

I suppose I just have this overall disappointed in myself. Disappointed at everything I do, disappointed at being a failure. I even get disappointed that I'm disappointed!

I try to see the bright side, to realise that maybe everything I worry about is just a product of my incredibly pessimistic thoughts.

Maybe I'm just not compatible with people. Maybe I'm supposed to be alone. I can be fine with that. I think.

I just don't understand it. Am I the only one this way? My brothers all have a way with people. I'm the only one who's not. Come to think of it, I'm not alot of things they are. ,smart, good looking, funny, talented.

My family would be perfect if I weren't there.

Perhaps my biggest mistake is being me?

Life would be better for everyone if i was replaced by someone else.

Sorry for wasting your time.

The Eyes Are The Windows To The Soul.

-William Shakspeare.
Lets put some stuff in front of the windows so the soul can see!! :)

Okay. This is just some random woman in my head who turned out all wrong.

My Belovedest Ariff! :D

Again, some random woman :P

Derek :) Not the best one though. hehe.

Some girl I simply drew and was too lazy to finish hehe. :D

Ahha, that's all for now. Perhaps I'll put up more. :)

Where Do I Begin?

........to tell the story of how great a love can be.....
-Andy Williams, Love Story.
Okay, another attempt at a blog. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this one up and running:)
To me, the beggining is always the hardest part. The inroduction. The general overview of my thoughts and myself in general. The dreaded first impression. Andy Williams had a point in Love Song. Where do I begin? When I have experienced so much, laughed so much, cried so much; when I have had countless thoughts and opinions of so many things in the world.
So I ponder. I search the dark depths of my mind for something-a thought, an idea, anything!-to write in my first post. I think till my head aches. And finally, I realise the truth. The fact.
How do I begin? By simply beggining.